I know, I know. Not, like, the best title ever.
I just wanted to get Google's attention.
Anyway. The other day I was talking to a person I know who uses Tinder to look at other people in her area. I'm a little bit jealous because I can't do that anymore to my pesky husband who's all "I really think we shouldn't see other people," and I guess I have to be ok with that? But friends who are on Tinder are very fun for me. No risk and all that. ANYWAY. This person matched with this other person and he said to her in his very first attempt at contact "this has just been SUCH a Monday."
Clearly she didn't write back.
I mean, I get it. There's something to be said for being real, on the one hand. BUT on the other hand, I am a really big believer in the following:
Bad things that happen to you do not define you.
Simple enough, but don't you feel like a lot of us have a nasty habit of trying to feel special or important based on petty hardships or negative traits? I'm sure no one would ever actually admit it out loud, but who hasn't found themselves talking about crappy things for any amount of time, and then realize that you just wasted all that TIME complaining, or gossiping, or trying to garner sympathy, or any number of things that are dumb. The problem with that is that it becomes habit after awhile, and we start to FORGET the good things about ourselves, the exciting things about ourselves, the things that make us the best version of ourselves.
And that, my friends, brings us back to our title. No one gives a shit if you had a bad day. Everyone has dumb coworkers, everyone has to pay bills and deal with traffic and dogs getting sick and kids whining and not making nearly as much money as you are SURE you're worth and people being catty and gossipy and having trouble sleeping and WHAT THE FUCK EVER. You are not special because you have annoyances in your life.
You are, however, VERY special. Probably for really cool things that you don't let yourself think about. What are you really good at? Skills are all well and good, but what is your SOUL good at? Are you good at noticing when people are feeling lonely or sad? Are you good at taking care of people? Are you good at being nonjudgmental? THAT'S what makes you special. Not the fact that you woke up late and then the hot water AND internet were out and you forgot to get breakfast and the leftovers you wanted to have for lunch were moldy and your boss was a dick and you got mustard on your shirt. No one cares, and I can almost guarantee that you have had and will have worse days, just like the rest of the world.
It's a habit, I know. Not one that we break in a second. But, it isn't the worst thing in the world to contemplate what you spend time talking about, and whether or not you're the type of person who truly gets off on "winning" at who's life sucks more. Your life doesn't suck, your problems aren't the worst around, and there are WAY more special and wonderful and exciting things about yourself that I'd like to spend my time hearing about.
And you didn't think I'd be able to start a story about Tinder and make a bit of damn sense, did you?
i think i will print this and slap it up all over this damn office… it pertains to nearly every single person here. i cannot handle it. thank god for my corner office, where the music is just a little too loud and i can keep to my own self 🙂
thank you for this!
have a super thursday!
Needed this reminder 🙂 Thanks!