Baby Will: 4 months.

It is such a great privilege to watch a tiny human grow.

....until it is 4am, at which point it is the WORST THING EVER AND WHY DID I HAVE KIDS.

I imagine this sort of shift in perception is what it must like to be a baby - everything's great, boob, warm, lights, and then tired or huger strikes and WORST THING EVER. So in that, I feel like Will and I understand each other a whole lot.

Honestly, I was slightly nervous that I might not be as excited about little milestones with another kid - not nervous necessarily, but more like underwhelmed. WELL, I'm not. Will rolled over (front to back) a few weekends ago and I got so excited and luckily Jay was home at the time so he got to see it a few hours after that and it was just the best.

Even though he's rolling, Will is still a pretty good sport about tummy time and is now strong enough that he'll hang out on his stomach for awhile before getting bored and flopping back to his back. I've been trying to prop him up more or put him on his stomach because homeboy has a BIG flat spot on the back side of his head - not in the center either, back+side=lopsided kiddo. I don't know a thing about baby helmets, so we'll see what they say at his 4 month appointment tomorrow.

Sleep is still medium; after several great weeks Will has had some middle of the night meltdowns that I'm calling a 4 month sleep regression. He still does one good stretch from about 7pm-2am, but has started waking up once or twice during that time and needing his paci stuck back in. I don't feed him, though, unless he's super duper screaming his head off, because of course no one wants that, poor little friend. After that first feeding, though, all bets are off and sometimes he'll wake two or three more times before I give in and call it a night at 6:30 or so.

I'm not against cosleeping at all, but he won't ever settle down to sleep in our bed, so we go back and forth to his room alllllnight long trying to get some longer stretches of sleep. Honestly it's starting to wear on me, and I'm looking forward for some of it to work itself out in a few weeks, and to sleep training the rest away at six or seven months once the pediatrician says he's gaining enough weight.

Even with broken sleep, Will is still super calm and chill when he's awake. He does like being held a LOT, but isn't particularly cuddly and is happy to be held upright so he can look around and examine the world. He's easy to take shopping because he just stares at everything, and at home loves hanging out anywhere we are - lying on the bed while we fold laundry, in a bouncer while I cook, that sort of thing.

I don't mind doing "real life" things with our kids because 1. I have to, 2. they can know how errands work, and 3. mostly, they are entertained by new things. We definitely do our fair share of baby playtime on the floor, but I find that Will can go longer stretches without sleep if he's entertained by changing scenery and activities.

We're starting to see little bursts of humor, which thrills me to no end. Will will CACKLE over, nothing, obviously, but it's so fun to find something, a random word or expression, that makes him giggle. He has a super high pitched squeal, and uses it day and night when he's happy or getting bored. It's cute until 4am, theme of this month.

Beck and Will are getting super close, and he stares at her like he really knows her. She talks to him as if he can understand, tells him things that she's been up to while he's asleep, and asks almost daily if we can take his clothes off and play with him, which I find smart because that's his best state. The kid LOVES being flat on his back with people over him talking, preferably naked. My mom always says that if he starts to lose it she takes his pants off, which sounds really not OK but works so, there's your 4 month old parenting secret.

My favorite thing is that when he's crying in the morning or after his nap, as soon as I stand over the crib he immediately starts to grin and writhe around in his swaddle. He's so young, but he definitely knows us, and feels like such a natural, lovely addition to our family.

It's cute until 4am.