Virginal

I have to admit something to you. I don't want you to be angry.

I've never been to a Clemson football game.

This might not come as a shock to you, if you know me even a little bit.

There are several reasons why I may have never been to a game:

I'm a girl.
I don't care about football.
I didn't go to Clemson.
I don't care about football.
I don't live in Clemson

However, in this new chapter of my life, there are now several reasons why I SHOULD go to a Clemson game:

I go to Clemson now.
My boyfriend loves Clemson.
My boyfriend lives in Clemson.
My company has a tailgate spot.
Tailgating is apparently fun.

So, after much deliberation as to why I must become a sheep and do something because everyoneelseisdoingit, I am going to a Clemson football game tomorrow. I'm pretty excited because APPARENTLY you can drink all day and wear sundresses and people make you food.

I'm taking boxed wine.

In honor of this (allegedly) blessed event, I'm going to show you how to make a stupideasy (definitely a word) salsa. My friend Julie (a rabid Clemson fan herself) taught me how to make this a few years ago, and I've never looked back. It's tailgate food TO THE MAX, and you should definitely make it for the next time you'd like to sit in a parking lot sweating and drinking lukewarm beer while painted frat boys rub against your children and grandmother.

Here's what you need:

2 small or 1 large can tomatoes (I used diced - pick whatever texture you like)
juice of one lime
1 clove minced garlic
2 tablespoons minced onion (a few slices finely chopped)
½ minced seeded jalapeno
½ teaspoon chili powder
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon olive oil
cilantro

Essentially, mix that stuff in a bowl and eat it all in one sitting. But you KNOW I have more to say on the subject:

If I can manage it, I like to use one can diced and one can petite diced tomatoes. That's just to add texture, but SERIOUSLY don't stress about what kind of tomatoes you have on hand. Heck, add in a fresh chopped one now and then for some real excitement!

Put half the tomatoes into a bowl, then puree the other half for just a few seconds in a food processor or blender. You don't want to liquefy them, just make them a little smoother.

Add the tomato puree to the bowl, and juice HALF the lime into the tomatoes. Start with half. You can add more later.

Then get your cilantro. Try not to freak out - I use the tubed kind. It works, OK? The main reason I keep tubed cilantro around is that it NEVER goes bad. The other reason is that cilantro is a strong herb that is sold in large bunches so once I use a little I'm left with tons, and who wants cilantro for five meals in a row? Not me, really. I use a tablespoon of this tubed stuff, but you could easily chop up a few fresh leaves if you're into being fancy.

Now, add in your onion, garlic, salt, olive oil, jalapeno, cumin, and chili powder and stir everything together.

Of course, please taste this and add more lime juice or salt or spices to the mixture. Hold off on adding more onion or jalapeno because those two ingredients will intensify after you refrigerate the salsa.

Curious about the olive oil? You can totally leave it out, but I find that it adds a nice thickness to the tomatoes (since you use the juices), even though you don't use much. Try it!

Thank you to my lovely sister Julianne for being hungry all the time, willing to be a hand model, and for keeping her nails nicely did for occasions such as this. She's a rockstar.