For the tofu, add half the butter to a large nonstick skillet with the tofu. Let cook at medium to medium-low heat for 20-30 minutes, stirring every few minutes, until the tofu is browned on all sides and crispy. If the tofu seems to be browning very quickly, turn down the heat.

When the tofu is crispy, remove it from the skillet. Add the rest of the butter, the tomato sauce, and hot sauce. Stir to combine, and taste: add more tomato sauce if it's too spicy, more hot sauce if you'd like. Return the tofu to the skillet and stir the sauce with the tofu. Serve with blue cheese crumbles or relish.

For the relish, add the salt, sugar, vinegar, and celery to a small pot. Turn the heat to high, and bring the vinegar to a boil. When the vinegar boils, turn the heat OFF and add the scallion. Let sit for 10 minutes, then drain and serve.