Year 3.

Dear Jay,

Happy Anniversary!  As per the usual, we are coming home from vacation today and I'll be back to work tonight, but I daresay that this year is so, SO much better than last year.  RIGHT?  

You know it is, I know it is.  This year, man, it finally feels like it's happening.  It's all been such baby steps for our careers, family, friends, and I think we're in this groove, now, you and I, I really do.  

Mainly, I want this to serve as a big fat YOU ARE THE BEST HUSBAND EVER, and a thank you for that.  When I wrote about our anniversary last year we were all wahhhhh can't wait for licensure and baby and the leg to heal!  AND THEN.  Baby.  Demotion.  Drama.  More leg issues.  It wasn't exactly what we planned for, amirite?  But, instead of losing our shit, we managed quite well, if I do say so myself.  

Speaking of being the best husband ever, I hope you know how much it means to me that you work so tirelessly to support me and Beck.  I think our original plan last year was good; we both work, Beck does daycare, we cut back where needed to afford that and make time with her.  And I think that would have been wonderful, I really do.  But things changed, and your job improved slightly and mine almost went away completely, and you were SO sweet and supportive when it all went down.  It is one of the greatest joys of my life to be able to stay home with Beck, and I'm only able to do that because of you.  Yes, I still work, but not nearly like you do, so please know that I don't take that for granted, not one little bit.  

You know, I hear a lot of people say that parenting takes a toll on a marriage.  And it does, but not really in a bad way.  Sometimes a bad way, like zero time to ever talk about anything but jobs and babies and a laughable excuse for intimacy (no one's fault, ain't nobody got time for that), but mostly in this really interesting challenging way where we are forced to work together on common goals because now that we have that petri dish of a kid we have no choice to, you know?  Every single thing either of us does requires the support of the other more than ever before so that all three of us are fed/clothed/cared for, and mainly it's fun for me, figuring out the puzzle of how we get it all as much as we can done.  We do our best, we talk when things are hard, we adjust as needed, and we move forward.  

Some days it feels like a trudge, I know, cue Rory's bit about adulthood just being a long list of chores.  It is, but doing them together makes it all immeasurably more bearable, I think.  Plus, the new stuff we're cooking, literally and figuratively, is going to kick this fun-yet-sometimes-trudgy life in the pants and I'm so stinking excited for the next few months.  Plus, having secrets together is fun.  😉

I almost died from the cuteness last week when I had that big day of work and you took time away from your job to take Beck to the pediatrician for her eye.  That's the stuff I'm talking about - mostly I would have done that, but when I can't you just pick up where I leave off so effortlessly, and things happen as they should, and I don't have to worry because we're finally getting to this place where we know what's happening and we know how it's going to go and it just works.  

So, my love, here's to working in good and bad and hard and fun ways.  Here's to chores and giggles and our baby and new adventures.  I love you so much.