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Home » Funny

We Went Camping and I Fell In A River

Published: Jul 21, 2014 Last Updated: May 2021 by Lindsay This post may contain affiliate links to products I use and enjoy. 1 Comment

I mean, of course I did, right?  

I told you we were going camping this weekend and that it was supposed to rain.  IT RAINED A LOT.  Like...for 24 hours straight before we were supposed to leave, so we had a family meeting with the couple we were travelling with and were all "yeah, we bought all this food and hotels suck but also being soaking overnight sucks so..."

We rented a cabin so we could still cook our food is the end of the story.  

It was great, albeit a little nerve wracking because everyone else supposed to camping now wanted a cabin, but we got the LAST ONE and trucked up the mountain.  We obviously had to stop in Asheville to introduce our friends to Salsa's, and then the rest of the drive up consisted of us one after another remarking how we totally needed a food  coma nap.  Totally. 

The cabin was fabulous and Saturday night was spent eating and drinking and laughing and generally being relaxed.  THEN YESTERDAY we went kayaking!  In rafts!  I'm not sure what to call it - we were in inflatable kayaks, so they were sort of hybrids.  Jay and I were in 1 and Emily and Stephen, our friends, were in another.  I'd rafted down this particular stretch of river years ago on a church trip, and Jay's done it a bunch with his kayaking buddies.  

We got our kayaks and wetsuits and gear and headed up the mountain to the put in on a fun school bus that smelled like elementary school and sweat - you know the smell.  

We got in the water.  It was freezing.  We new this would be the case; the river we were on is pumped using water from the bottom of a ... water source ... and stays cold year round.  Luckily the rain had stopped and the sun was out, so we hopped on down the river for a few hours laughing and playing and splashing all the way.  You know.  

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Jay used to teach kayaking, so he's a great person to have on your side in whitewater.  The rapids we were on weren't terribly huge, and obviously I had the best deal of the day being with the pro - I paddled maybe half the time and the rest of the time smiled and felt the sun on my skin.  Like the brat I am.  

The very last rapid on this particular stretch is the biggest of the day, and it's a doozie.  LUCKILY, I fell out of the boat right in the middle of it.  Made it two hours in whitewater and in the 300 yards before the take out fell out, under the boat, got washed away, the whole nine yards.  

Clearly I lived to tell the tale, and it was all fine because I had a helmet (they aren't required.  WHAT.) and was in the water for maybe 10 seconds before Jay hauled me out and back into the boat, and from THERE it was only another 15 minutes before I had a beer in my hand and BBQ in my belly.  Kind of genius to have the hard stuff at the end.  

The best part of this whole story, of course, is that the last slash hardest slash closest to the rental center rapid is also AWESOME IN PICTURES that they try to sell you for a gazillion dollars after your trip.  So, there is photographic evidence of me going over the rapid, Jay grinning, then making a face, then kind of toppling, then THE LAST PICTURE IS JUST OF MY TENNIS SHOES.  Upside down.  Head under boat.  

The pictures are HILARIOUS, and of course we didn't buy them because you guys don't pay me enough, BUT I think they'll eventually be online with a watermark for us all to see, and you KNOW when that happens I'll post them right here for you to laugh at slash pity me.  

Just envision geeky tennis shoes sole-up in the middle of a waterfall.  Then enjoy your Monday.  

 

 

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Comments

  1. Whitney Walker

    July 22, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    I want to know what food you made! I'm always looking for fun camping foods to bring other than the boring burgers and brats.

    Reply

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Hi! I'm Lindsay. I'm a maternal mental health therapist, a recipe developer, food writer, and taker of all kinds of pictures. Thank you so much for being here! This blog is about how to take care of yourself and your people without taking anything too seriously.

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