How has it been a year and a half? I honestly have no clue. 
This week marks the longest we will have left Beck (5 nights! I kind of don't want to go when I write it out), and so it has me all nostalgic for the times when leaving her for five hours was a massive deal. ...
One year ago I was posting about things being hard with a 6 month old trying to juggle everything in the world all at once. 
As I write this Beck is howling in her crib, and I'm reminding myself that it's for her own good, then doubting that, then reminding myself of it, then doubting, then feeling my new best friend, Guilt. Guilt! You're here again, great. 
I think this time in the first year of life is when things kind of settle in, for better and for worse. The better is that you kind of know what's happening with sleep and eating and how to keep the kid quiet (crackers). The worse is that there is a point, and it's different for everyone, where you are familiar enough with your kid and the "omg they're so perfect" wears off a little bit (Beck is still the most perfect, don't worry), and you realize that you will never be able to do anything ever again with whimsy like you used to. Because now, in addition to regular adulting and planning and calculating of risk, you now have to think WWBD? What Will Baby Do? If I want to stay out past her bedtime, will it ruin our week? If I drink too much will she get drunk or have liver failure (no, according to the internet and the doctor). Every decision involves the baby at some turn. I don't say revolves around baby because I really don't think it has to, but now there's another person in your life, your house, your family, and they get a say too, whether big or small.
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Another list of stuff to buy! You're welcome. 
I had such a good time yesterday talking about nursing Beck and how it's been for us so far, so thanks for indulging me in that one. And now, as promised, gear! I go back and forth on these posts because on the one hand I believe in not getting something specialized for every. little. thing. BUT there are a few products that really make the whole experience better, so I try to keep the number of products I require to a minimum and make sure they're really good ones.
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I went back to work yesterday. At the hospital. At 8 weeks postpartum. 
It was a fight to get that much leave, but it was actually OK being back.
I sort of took a soft maternity leave in that I continued the Varsity Vocals work I do since Beck was born. I tried to be super prepared before she came so that I didn't have a ton to keep up with, but our shows take place in January-April so taking a true leave this time of year would mean missing out on almost the entire season, and I didn't really want to do that even though it was offered to me. But, I stopped teaching yoga a few weeks before I gave birth and took 8 weeks away from the hospital. ...
At so we have a 6 week old! 
But this isn't about her. I mean, it's about her, but you know. More about her...entry point?
Sorry, SORRY. I know. Let's get back to the recipes and baby pictures, right?
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