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Home ยป Funny

How to Get Babies Out of Bodies

Last Updated: Dec 2015 by Lindsay This post may contain affiliate links to products I use and enjoy. 2 Comments

Spoiler alert:  I have no clue.  

IMG_7645 edited

But seriously, guys, do you KNOW how much advice is on the interwebz about how to knock yourself into labor?  And how much I'm going for it?  I'm only 38 weeks and 2 days according to the due date given to me, so I know there's no rush.  It's a loooooong way until induction date and baby will come when she's ready and my bp is fine and yay zen thoughts.  

But then I threw out my back, and it's not getting better, and I can't take any legit meds for it or even drink my way through the pain, so the only thing I can figure is that if we counteract that pain with a way WORSE pain that ends with a kid I might just be ok with that.  

Call me crazy, I'm fine with it.  The pain keeps me up all night, so I may as well have a freakin kid to look at while I'm not sleeping, right?  Go with it.  

The midwives have me drinking all the red leaf raspberry tea I can handle and taking primrose oil, but you know what science says about those two things inducing labor?  Nothing.  There is no evidence that either of those two things work.  

There is anecdotal evidence, sure, but how can you KNOW what causes labor?  Maybe you just happened to have the kid after drinking the tea because you happened to have the kid.  But nonetheless, the other night I read that pineapple has knocked some kids out of vaginas, so I ate probably half a pineapple in one sitting.  And then felt like I would be ill.  

I did not have the baby and I did not throw up, but I do really like pineapple so I might have consumed the same quantity regardless.  

The end.

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  1. Hanna @ Arctic Cloudberry says

    December 03, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    Spicy Indian food! No personal experience, always passionate about contraception, so haven't been in that particular pickle myself but heard that it works.

    Reply
    • funnyloveblog says

      December 03, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      We had it twice last week! I've heard that too though and mainly love any excuse to eat Indian. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
Image of Lindsay Howerton-Hastings smiling sitting on dark gray couch wearing chambray blue shirt.

Hi! I'm Lindsay. I'm a maternal mental health therapist, a recipe developer, food writer, and taker of all kinds of pictures. Thank you so much for being here! This blog is about how to take care of yourself and your people without taking anything too seriously.

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