WHAT, THREE MONTHS! That means we made it through the 4th trimester, homegirl is fully AWAKE, and we're like totally parenting experts and nothing can sway us. 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH.
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Babies
Life at 12 Weeks Postpartum
12 weeks! We made it through the 4th trimester.
Things are ok. All things considered, we're so lucky, but Jay and I have both been struggling the past few weeks with what having a family in this culture really looks like, and how we might be able to change our future to create the life we want for ourselves and Beck.
Basically, we both hate being away from her, and neither of us are terribly passionate about our work. I love counseling, but my current job involves a ton of paperwork, not much pay, and an administration that is happy to threaten my job, move me around the hospital, and basically not give a hoot about my well-being as long as their boxes are getting checked off. It's not a terribly inspiring way to spend time away from your newborn. Jay's in the same boat, maybe more so because it's somehow so culturally unacceptable to be sad about leaving your child as a man, and WHAT IS THAT EVEN ABOUT?...
Narrating the World 24/7
Jay pretty much talks to Beck nonstop. When they're together and I'm working or doing other stuff he just chatters away to her, and usually she rewards him with coos and smiles, which means he keeps doing it. We're only 2 months in, but the gems that have come out of that man so far are quite the force to be reckoned with. I imagine that when Beck starts talking she'll think that it's completely normal to narrate the world 24/7 with no breaks even to breathe, but I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
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About A Beck! 2 months.
She's 2 months old. 9 weeks today, WHAT. Tiny and huge all at the same time depending on who you ask, still such a baby but SUCH a big girl with new thoughts and skills every day. 
Mainly this month, cheeks and smiles and blowouts.
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On Maternity Leave and Returning to Work
I went back to work yesterday. At the hospital. At 8 weeks postpartum. 
It was a fight to get that much leave, but it was actually OK being back.
I sort of took a soft maternity leave in that I continued the Varsity Vocals work I do since Beck was born. I tried to be super prepared before she came so that I didn't have a ton to keep up with, but our shows take place in January-April so taking a true leave this time of year would mean missing out on almost the entire season, and I didn't really want to do that even though it was offered to me. But, I stopped teaching yoga a few weeks before I gave birth and took 8 weeks away from the hospital. ...
Snowyday 2016
We had a snow day! 
While the rest of the East Coast was getting totally blanketed in snow, we were getting our yearly max of 1-3 inches of snow mixed with some nice solid ice. People either were off or home early on Friday, and then Saturday morning we had pretty snow to play in!
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At 6 Weeks Postpartum
At so we have a 6 week old! 
But this isn't about her. I mean, it's about her, but you know. More about her...entry point?
Sorry, SORRY. I know. Let's get back to the recipes and baby pictures, right?
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Great, GREAT!
About a Beck! 1 month.
We have a one-month old. 
It sounds really young still, because it is, but also it's like you've been around for 1/12th of a calendar year and you've grown a lot, and eyelashes came in, and you had Christmas and New Years and learned how to nurse and all SORTS of stuff. High fives.
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Lost in the Baby - Jay
I am completely obsessed with my baby. My baby has become my entire life. She is my true North. All my decisions are now guided by this little, tiny perfect person. I now cry before leaving the house for work. The thought of not being around her is awful, which makes sitting in a cubicle all day long that much more terrible. I get lost in the infinite universe that is her eyeball. When she looks at me and we stare at each other, my heart melts thinking about all of the wonderful things (and sad things) that will unfold in her life. I tear up thinking about disappointing her. Seriously, I’ve thought about me assembling her first bike, not doing it right, and then her having an epic crash. I know that’s odd. After I had done something wrong as a kid, my mom use to say, “I’m upset because you lost my trust.” I get that now. I don’t ever want to lose my daughter’s trust. I just want to remain a lasting, positive force in her life. I’m not naïve. I know I will have moments of failure along the way, but it is a worthy path to journey down.
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2015 In Review
Guys, it's the last day of the year. Can you even believe it? It seems like five seconds ago that we were welcoming our neighbor's baby into the world and having a really quiet little NYE at our place with food and friends this time last year. This year we're a family of THREE, we're having an even more quiet NYE, and it's been just the best year. Also, as of about 6 weeks ago I was still writing 2014 on hospital forms, so let's see how long it takes 2016 to sink in! Probably until 2020. 
Stop, please, time. kthanks.
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About a Beck - 3 weeks!
AND TOMORROW SHE'LL BE APPLYING TO COLLEGE. 
I mean, really. How is time flying so fast? Days (and REALLY nights) sometimes feel so long, but weeks are scampering by and this girl is big and growing and changing and just UGH. Stop, time, please. kthanksbye.
We are settling into a little routine as a family of 3, and by routine I mean that there is no routine and so the "plan" is to never know what's going to happen ever but to try really hard to brush our teeth every day. Bonus if we do it twice. Ew, I know.
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Sleep in Heavenly Peace
Beck's Birth Story {jay's version!}
The phrase, “zero to sixty” is usually reserved for the automotive industry. It typically describes how quickly a certain car can accelerate to sixty miles an hour. However, on rare occasions it can accurately illustrate how fast a man can move when awakened by his wife saying, “Honey, I’m in labor. We gotta get up and go.” I couldn’t have hopped out of bed faster if I had springs mounted on my ass. Like a bullet from a gun I was propelled into reality at break-neck speed. “Oh shit! What can I do? How are you feeling? Did your water break? Oh shit! What the fuck!?” All of those questions came racing off my tongue while running in place. If I were Fred Flinstone, there would have been a plumb of smoke peeling off my feet. We were off to the races.
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Beck's Birth Story {part 2 + pictures}
I figured out how to squiggle out my nipple to show you pictures of the baby being born, I know you're super thrilled about that. It worked about 80% of the time. Some places I couldn't be bothered. 
I was thinking on what I wrote yesterday about Beck's birth, and how there is so much more to say, but I'd written over 3,000 words and felt like it needed to stop because no one wants to read that much in one sitting anymore, right? Books, schmooks. So I stopped, and then I realized that this is probably what the phrase there are no words really means. In reality, there are ALL the words, but no matter how many you put down it's just never right or enough or something.
So we'll just add more words to the situation to really clear things up, ok?
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Beck's Birth Story {part 1}
OMG we've had a baby for 6 days. I went into labor a week ago today. 
What the ever-loving crap, guys.
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Five for Friday {the baby edition duh}
Hello, World!
This is Beck. She was born yesterday, in protest to me saying that I was sick of her being inside me.
Insta has more sleepy baby pics. We're obsessed.
#ohshit
Baby It's Cold Outside {baby shower}
I threw my first baby shower last week! For Scott and Belen! And then we went on vacation and THEY HAD THEIR BABY IN THEIR HOUSE by accident which I will tell you about in more detail at a later time. 
But first we need to talk about this shower. I was a little nervous because it came on a really really busy week and Jay had been out of town and also Belen is always doing really cute things and my MO is kind of "give them booze and meatballs and maybe they'll like you?" Not so much with the cuteness.
But then I Pinterested "winter baby shower" because I had it in my head that I wanted to do a winter/Christmas thing, and I saw a chalkboard that said Baby It's Cold Outside and I just kind of ran with that. So! Here is what the non-Pinteresty boozehound did.
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